Over the last few weeks I have felt my power waning. The power to overcome, simulate and engage. I feel that I am turning inwards, that my consciousness is asking me to retreat; to be more defensive.
I’m a little bit scared about being vulnerable.
Emotions of being lonely, being judged and not being enough are creeping up and there is a conflict between allowing these emotions to wash over me or attempting to resist them. It’s hard to understand what I need.
Being away from the support system I had built in Dubai has also left me with a sense of uncertainty and I’m unsure where I want to go or need to be. Being away from that sphere of healing has also further pushed me into retreating within myself.
But being here, within myself, has also been more accepting of emotions I am finding hard to navigate but I am also realising that the one person who I need more than anyone else, is myself.
Self-love in this space of being alone and creeping loneliness will be more contrite but I also firmly believe that it will find me in a place of more self-understanding and care.
I pray that it does.
