202…?
It was 11.25 pm on December 31st and my eyes were closing and my body and mind was wondering why I was still keeping it awake. Dreams and REM beckoned and at 11.50pm they won their fight to fall into deep rest. There was an interlude at 12.15am on the 1st of January where I may or may not have been awakened by my neighbours fireworks but waking up 6 hours later was my introduction to 2023.
The day was spent wading through posts and articles about the new year. Friends posing with drinks and fireworks with the realisation of a year well spent.
Since 2019, the new year hasn’t really registered as an interlude as a point of recognition or as a place of reflection. My goals as it were have slimmed down and this year has only two major ones in focus:
- Making as much money as I can
- To run as much as I can
Yes, potentially not the most glamorous or ground breaking but my journey of self love has played a more important and significant role in my life.
Since 2019 I have been filling my cup of love and the idea of time has gone beyond the linear. There are times when my only reminder about where in the circle of the sun we are, is my calendar.
The dryness of what I have penned down is a mirror of the happiness and joy that I have stored and expelled within myself. What felt like a shield has now expanded to a ball of light within and outside of me.
This light, this love and this joy is what my journey has been on and one that that I will continue to travel on despite the goals I have promised myself.
I read somewhere that:
"Being positive doesn't mean that
everything will be ok.
It just means that no matter what happens, I'll be ok"
This feeling is what has and is being formed as my identity. Despite the comfort and heart pain that I have faced, I know that I’ll be ok. That the love that I choose to give will be the beacon to all that is meant for me.
Although I’m writing this at the start of the year, this journey and these aspirations have been with me beyond a place where time has played a role.
My hope is that wherever this journey takes us, is a journey that is fulfilling and full of love.
